"Michael Jackson was pretty sweet, though."
– Brad
"Can I have a hug?"
– Mark to Brian during a timeout
"Bring that nut up."
– Brian/Mark
"For Christ's sake, Rene, I'm nippin'"
– Ricky
"What's wrong with me?"
– Mark
"I got fucked by the tit."
– Dean
"It's hard to find good bitches."
– Troy
"I really hate to see grown men bleed."
– Ricky
"It's like a woman. You have to let it warm up before you start jamming stuff in it."
– Dean
"That's a dead bank."
– Dean
"That's Korn, Huskie."

"Super draw!"

"On the snap!"

"Let your stroke out."

"Damn it, Ricky! Don't do that again."
– Brian
"You got robbed."

"Patch it up!"

"Get some love"

"Hit 'em hard and hope"
– Ricky
"Ricky, you could have left that a little better."
– Brian
"Hey Ricky, next time hit your own fucking ball."
– Brian
"Come on Ricky, make it work. Quit fucking around."
– Brian
"I titted it."
– Dean
"Quit fucking around!"
– Brian
"quit it you crazy bitches."
– brian
"C'mon you pussy."
– Paula (to ricky)
"what kind of break was that? does your husband know you're playing this game?"
– ricky (to dean)
"Unattended children will be shot."

"50 cent tacos: it's like a sore peter, you can't beat it."
– Ricky
"You never want to force it; you gotta work it first."
– Mark
"Go outside and practice falling down; Nikki will be right out."
– Ricky (to Mark)
"Wipe that stupid grin off your face, and play."
– Chi-loo (to Mark)
"My nipples are rock hard."
– Dean
"If you woke up with a condom hanging out of your ass, would you tell anyone?"
– Mark
"I shot like a left-handed bitch on the rag."
– Dean
"Spank her like she deserves it."
— Dean
"I'm a lover, not a fighter."
— Dean
"It's a dick thing."
— Nikki
"We may be out-numbered, but we are not out-smarted."
— Nicole
"Not only are we out-numbered, but we are also out-smarted."
— some bitch
"Toughen up, cup cake."
— Paula (to Dean)
"I think I killed Dennis."
— Ricky [05.17.05]
"This game sucks!"
— Dennis [03.24.05]
[Ken D] "Where's my little thing?"
[Brian] "In your pants."
— [03.10.05]
"Ricky, you really are a sexy motherfucker."
— Mike [11.11.04]
"Brian, shut the fuck up!"
— Paula [11.11.04]
"Seib got fucked by the tit"
— Dean [07.30.04]
"Ricky, why didn't you make everything?"
— Mike [07.22.04]
"Good slop, buddy"
— Brian to Mark [06.05.06]
"Who wants me?"
— Stef, calling a time out [06.08.06]
"Brian, keep your balls on the table."
— Stef [06.15.06]
"Can I play with your stick tonight?"
— Stef to Brian [06.29.06]
"Wrong ball, dumbass."
— Brian to Ricky [07.13.06]
"Nice shot, grandpa."
— Brian to Dennis [12.11.06]
"Stay away from my ass."
— Stef to Ken [03.08.07]
"Dennis, she's grabbing my boobs"
— Stef [03.08.07]